I got a couple of comments on my last two posts from readers who asked me if I thought all events are really just internal.

I didn’t mean for it to come across that way, so please allow a little clarification.

While I think that our reactions are internal, and that those reactions can offer us a lot of insight into ourselves, what triggers those reactions – the “external” world – is very real.

I suppose the main thrust of what I was trying to say is that, if your reaction to something outside of you is very strong – for instance, you love it, or you hate it – it’s reflecting not just the nature of that outside thing, but also a lot about your own inner state. Also, if you hold onto that feeling, without seeing it as part of your own process, and without letting it continue to be a process, and continue to grow and change, you lose a lot.

So that’s not to say that the external entity isn’t really lovely (or hateful), or that you don’t really love (or hate) it, just that, it seems to me a lot of times we latch onto things – either the external “thing” (that is really an ongoing process), or our own emotion – without either allowing it to continue evolving or growing, or without tracing its source within ourselves.

Sometimes, we put so much emphasis on the external causing our emotions, that we forget to get in touch with them within ourselves. Other times we feel so strongly about the external thing that we hold onto it tightly and smother it (the source of the saying – “if you love something, set it free”).

Then, when the external situation changes and you’re still attached to it as “the thing that makes me feel xyz way” you stop growing, you’re stagnant. You’re attached to a static idea of something that, like the river, is always changing. And you’re also keeping that external thing locked into that way that you see it.

“Setting it free” you can allow the relationship between you and that external reality to continue to grow.

It’s like a garden. If you restrict everything to certain spots, you will miss out on where certain plants grow the best, due to slight differences in soil or water in different parts of the plot. If you just let everything go, it will look crazy, weeds will sprout up, and eventually you can’t really call it a “garden” anymore. But if you allow the plants to find their own place, and foster their development, your development expands as well. You’ve learned to work with, instead of on or in, your garden. It becomes more and more a piece of you, and you of it.

Suffering isn’t bad. Often you have to suffer the wound in order to receive fully the gift of the experience. That path is a multi-directional one, though. It is external, in the processes you’re attached to, and it is internal, in the path only you can know. So try to be in touch with both (or all) of the directions or dimensions your emotions are reflecting. Cultivate your relationships with the “outside” world as you would a garden. Become part of the process, and the “suffering” seems to fade a little bit, because the life of the plants, and their beauty, begins to sustain you just as you cultivate it.

Hope that makes it a little clearer…and not more confusing! Hahaha!