For those who don’t know, I’ve been practicing Baguazhang now for the past few years. At first, I was lucky enough to study under George Wood, back in VA. When I moved out here to SF, it’s become difficult to get to the group that practices my style (Gao Style) out in the East Bay, so I’ve mostly been on my own.
One of the greatest realizations I’ve had recently about my practice came from my involvement with Exuberant Animal, and it was this – I was being way to “serious.”
Martial arts are pretty serious stuff. Most of the time you’re learning how to fight someone, and that usually means doing pretty significant damage to that person (or risking having that damage done to you!). Also, most teaching is done in a very strict, regimental fashion. While my teacher was a more “enlightened” teacher in this way, he is also very strict. Not only because he learned in Taiwan, and studied very very diligently for many years to hone his practice in a more “traditional” setting, but also because there is a need for structure and form in the art (or any art), which cannot be attained lightly.
However, this isn’t very different from play, or the attitude of someone who is truly “playful.”
Watch children on the playground. Some are involved in frivolous, meaningless behavior. But most of them will cycle in and out of frivolity to grave seriousness when confronted with a new, difficult or challenging task or game, or when the “stakes” of the game become heightened. When we play at the foot-camps, we’re very lighthearted and loose for a while, and then suddenly things turn serious when a new challenge is posed. We have to do something on one leg, or with our eyes closed, and attention is brought down to a very fine point.
[Note - much of this post plays on ideas I've recently learned from James Carse's book "Finite and Infinite Games." He makes distinctions between "finite players" and "infinite players." Essentially, the difference is this - where finite players play within boundaries (and to do so, establish boundaries), infinite players play with boundaries. When I say "play," I'm referring to infinite play here.]
Play is not always frivolous (though it is sometimes). Usually, “play” refers to an attitude of openness. It’s that openness that makes people who play more vulnerable than those who do not. It’s also that openness that makes people who play more sensitive – but also better able to deal with their vulnerability and sensitivity. They don’t take things so “seriously” (in a dramatic way), because there is no “prize,” or “goal,” or “title” in particular that is being played for. Instead, the game is being played to explore limits and boundaries, to find the possible, to be surprised, and thereby to become educated – to learn.
When I began to apply this approach to my martial arts practice, it suddenly became very “easy.” Not physically easy, but the mental/physical blocks I had to “fitting it in to my day” disappeared. Suddenly, practice wasn’t a chore to be “fit in” anymore, but a learning experience that I look forward to, and actually miss if I don’t get to do it!
What if you were to apply this attitude in different areas in your life? Let’s take, for instance, one of the most challenging areas for many people (definitely for me) – relationships. They can be work relationships (boss, or co-workers), romantic relationships, family relationships, or others.
The more “serious” the relationship is, the more difficult it can become to maintain a sense of sanity or self within that relationship. Things become “heavy” and very serious.
Now, if you were to approach your relationship playfully (not frivolously – at least, not always), you might not put so much stock in the immediate words being said, or the things being done. Instead, you’d look for creative ways to approach the relationship. You’d listen a lot more (as Carse also says), because your focus would be on the other person’s reaction to you, rather than what they are doing to you.
This approach can be used for anything, actually, should be used toward everything in your life. Instead of seeing things as finite goals, observe the process that is occurring when you do those things, and where you are in that process, how you affect and effect it – and then play (creatively explore) within it.
This mentality takes some getting used to. Strangely, it’s very hard to do at first! We have a definite bias against being “childlike” in our culture – which means that we disdain playfulness (it isn’t “adult” to play) – which you’ll come up against (maybe even as you read this post). However, I think it’s an enriching experience, and deserves a try.
Try it, and let me know what you think.











