The Secret to your woes is not your body. It’s not the shape of your body. You may think it is, but you’re wrong.
It’s not your level of physical fitness. It’s not your athleticism, or lack thereof.
It’s not what kind of car you drive, or how much money you make, or what kinds of things you own.
The secret is your culture. It’s what you surround yourself with every day. It’s what gives deepest meaning and fulfillment, support and recognition, love and energy to your life.
That’s the secret.
Manipulation
I’ll use this word here, not in the commonly used negative connotation of the term, but in the various ways it’s defined by Merriam Webster:
1 : to treat or operate with or as if with the hands or by mechanical means especially in a skillful manner
2 a : to manage or utilize skillfully b : to control or play upon by artful, unfair, or insidious means especially to one’s own advantage
3 : to change by artful or unfair means so as to serve one’s purpose
Everyone is always being manipulated.
Your culture is your biggest source of manipulation. From the second you are born, people are talking to you. When they do, they are imparting their ideas about the world onto you. You absorb those ideas, and, over time, begin to resemble them in small and not-so-small ways.
Beyond that immediate source of change is your community. Your community shapes what you see. Your family will live among, but more importantly, associate with, families with similar values to theirs.
Your friends, for the most part, will have a similar socio-economic status to yours. They will value similar things to those that you do. They will think similarly about the world – look through a similar cultural lens.
Another step out is the larger culture you live with – your society. The society you live within has its own guidelines, it’s own rules and agendas.
Everyone always has an agenda.
Society’s agenda may or may not be aligned with your own, or that of your community. You may find your complaints go unheard in society at large. You may alternately find that you have no complaints, because you’ve accepted “the way it is.”
Further, your own agenda may not be aligned with your own! This is the most difficult piece to figure out, and the place where many people experience the greatest suffering in their lives. You have deep, sometimes hidden, feelings, desires, and needs, but outwardly live in accordance with your culture. The degree of difference between your internal feelings, desires, and needs, and the way you’re living, is the precise degree to which you suffer in life.
Support
If your community and family support you, if they form a solid base, a safety net, a place of love, security, and comfort, you will live a long and happy life.
If not, you will struggle. You will seek that base, that comfort, in other things, and never find it. It can be anything – drugs, sex, work, religion, hobbies – anything that gives the appearance of those most-fundamental needs.
Ultimately, though, you will not feel what you were looking for, and you will leave, turn to another path – or drown yourself in the pursuit.
Physical Fitness
Physical fitness is meaningless without a purpose for that fitness. Many people go to the gym and workout day in and day out. They may get into excellent physical condition, simply to go sit at a computer, or drive a truck, or stand behind a counter.
Their fitness is purposeless, which is why it cannot be the ultimate fulfillment they seek. If they have community, if they have support, they workout from that base. If not, they seek that base in fitness activities, or see fitness as a “counterbalance” to the activities they are seeking their base in.
Physiology
People in Western culture generally live to be 75-85 years of age – regardless – or in spite of – of their level of physical fitness, their diets, or their communities.
However, the people who feel fulfilled, and who are functional late into life, will be the ones who were happiest. The ones who had deep congruence with their community, or who found it somewhere.
If your physiology is in a negative state due to stress/bad mood/no love/etc., it doesn’t matter how good your diet is. Your food won’t be digested well, first. What is processed will be used inefficiently. Waste excretion will be poor.
Until you get out of that bad physiological state, the energy that is consumed will largely be used to further that state. That’s how the body works.
Longevity
So what is the key to longevity? The book “The Blue Zones” says it’s several things:
Family – Family is put ahead of other concerns.
No Smoking – Centenarians do not typically smoke.
Plant-based diet – The majority of food consumed is derived from plants.
Constant moderate physical activity – Moderate physical activity is an inseparable part of life.
Social engagement – People of all ages are socially active and integrated into their communities.
Legumes – Legumes are commonly consumed.
But I would put community, or culture – living in a familiar, safe, supportive, caring community – first among them. Everything after that is gravy. Because, really, if you have that, it doesn’t matter how long you live…
Of course, there’s also something to be said for sheer grit





