Tag Archives: motivation

Why You Fail – The Secret to Fitness Motivation, Part 2

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In an earlier blog post I commented on what motivates the truly motivated fitness enthusiasts.

It isn’t necessity.

It’s one thing that they’ve chosen to inspire and propel them onward.

Maybe it changes over the years, but it’s always one thing.

But why is it so hard to DO that one thing?

Here’s why:

"Grooves Turn Into Ruts"

What the?! The Grand Canyon?

Yes, that’s right. The Grand Canyon.

It’s a slide reminiscent of one used by Frank Forencich in his Exuberant Animal talks. His has the same caption as the one above “Grooves Turn Into Ruts.”

Yes Josh, but what does that have to do with motivation and why I fail?

Frank uses that slide to highlight the way our nervous systems work. Or the way a nervous system, generally, works.

As you do things, you use certain neural pathways in your brain (and body). The more you use those pathways, the more efficient those pathways become at delivering a signal. There are a lot of mechanisms behind this, and if you’re interested in those, send me an email and we can chat about the specifics. Otherwise, just remember the words of Daniel Siegel, MD:

“Neurons that fire together, wire together.”

As with any natural system, energy follows the path of least resistance. If a signal comes into your brain, it is much more likely to go down the highly-efficient and well-used pathways than it is down some dusty, poorly-lit alley of your mind.

The longer you use those pathways, the more ingrained they become. Grooves turn into ruts. Similarly, the other pathways become more and more atrophied.

And the practice of using different pathways atrophies as well.

In action, this looks like what we call HABIT.

It’s the things we do over and over, habitually, without really thinking about them, that define us – just ask Aristotle.

This is also the reason why “The way you do one thing is the way you do everything.”

The stimulus/response follow the same pathways…over and over…you rarely deviate from your norm. You are a creature of habit.

So attempting to change your behavior – starting an exercise regimen, for instance – is akin to taking a ton of water to the top of the Grand Canyon and pouring it out, while saying I don’t want this to go down to the Colorado River!

Likelihood = Pitifully Low.

So how do you get around this trap?

Well, in the words of the old GI Joe PSA’s “knowing is half the battle.” Being able to recognize your habitual patterns is a good first step.

The next step is to decide what pattern you really want to emphasize – knowing that it most likely will change over time!

Finally, you have to create that pattern.

You have to – literally – create a structure that will shape your behavior.

In the example above, it’s akin to creating a reservoir or channel into which you could pour your water.

For some people, that’s as simple as creating or obtaining a detailed exercise schedule, plan, or program.

For others, it involves signing up for a class or sessions with a personal trainer.

Even beyond that, it might include things like watching habitual actions in other areas and altering those, even slightly, to tip the scales in favor of the new behavior. Replacing chips with carrot sticks, for instance…

Definitely interested in hearing your feedback on this concept and approach to behavior change. Leave a comment below!

The one secret to fitness motivation

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I’ve read the psychology books. I’ve read the sports psychology books. I’ve worked with clients, friends, and family who want to start or continue an exercise program.

And I’m here to share my secrets with you.

So first, a question – what is motivation?

What does it mean to you?

When you think about something you’re motivated to do, what comes immediately to mind?

I guarantee you it most likely has something to do with one of the following four things:

  • Sex – need I explain?
  • Status – affiliation, being “in,” etc.
  • Safety – shelter, food, water, etc.
  • Risk – danger, fun, excitement

And that it’s one or more of the following:

  • Comfortable
  • Easy
  • Tasty (especially fatty, sweet, and/or salty)
  • Fast
  • Cheap
  • Orgasmic

What’s “motivating” is usuallly hitting your evolutionary-behavioral necessities (to have sex/reproduce, to be safe, and to have and understand some sort of status in your group); AND your dopamine receptors – fast, easy, cheap, fun, tasty, comfortable, orgasmic, etc.

For most people “fitness” or working out doesn’t satisfy any of those needs.

Let’s face it, you are perfectly fit enough to “live” and/or “survive” in today’s world.

If you get too fat or broken-down, there’s always the Rascal!

If you get diabetes, there’s insulin shots for the rest of your life. And even those have been automated into a monitor/pump that automatically injects you with insulin.

Cardiovascular system burnt out from too little exercise and/or too much smoking? Get an oxygen tank and mask.

 

What I’m saying here is that motivation has nothing at all to do with necessity.

In today’s world, you don’t need the things you’re motivated to do, and you aren’t motivated to do the things you “need” to do.

I know a lot of people who like to read and/or talk about fitness and health stuff, but who never seem to do anything. For them, thinking, talking, and any “mental” activity is used as a replacement for actually doing something.

Another aspect of motivation that makes it really difficult for people to harness is that it’s almost entirely individual. It’s one of those rare places in life where we can’t just go along with the rest of the pack. If you’re motivated to work out (i.e., exert effort, which is not cheap, easy, fast, etc.) – it’s your motivation.

It’s not like buying the new pair of jeans that you saw in your favorite fashion magazine. There’s a reason they’re in the magazine. There’s a reason 100 or 1000 stores across the country are carrying those jeans in every size imaginable.

Because it’s not about you as an individual. That’s about you conforming (i.e., wanting to fit in  – status/safety), and about you caving in to the addictive dopamine rush you get when you buy something new.

So what’s the secret to being motivated to work out?

The secret is this – To find the one reason that turns fitness into a necessity for you.

Whatever the “reason” is doesn’t really matter. Create one.

For instance, some people want a “deeper connection” to their body. Some people want to hang out with friends. Some want to look like a certain celebrity. Others want to be able to move a certain way (dance, sports, martial arts).

It doesn’t matter. That reason is up to you. It’s all yours.

If you can’t find a reason, that’s okay. You don’t have to. Medicine is advancing at a rate that you should be fine in your Rascal with your oxygen tank and mask…as long as the power doesn’t go out.

When you do find that reason, ride it for all its worth.

After that, “hard” doesn’t matter anymore. You want it to be hard, or it isn’t a good workout. The meaning of the word “hard” changes. “Hard” becomes pleasurable, enjoyable. And yes, you can get your dopamine fix from it instead of those $300 jeans.

If someone else’s reason works for you, for now, that’s okay too, but realize that that will wear off soon enough. Recovering addicts of yo-yo diets and DVD fitness workouts pay attention – You need your own reason.

I’ll tell you this – if you have your reason, everything else falls into place and nothing else matters.

If you don’t, nothing falls into place, and everything else matters.

Simple as that.

NOTE – This post is NOT an attack against people who enjoy participating in culture, who have diabetes and are consciously engaged with it, who are incapacitated, or who have to use oxygen masks. It IS a demand for accountability and self-responsibility.

DESIRE

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If you read my last post, great. If not, have a read.

But allow me to recap – the most important fact in determining your success in a fitness goal has nothing to do with muscle physiology, plans, templates, reps and sets, or calories.

It also has little to do with “motivation.” Most research-based discussions of motivation that I’ve read (and I’ve read a LOT of them) are actually circular. That is, they talk about “motivation” in terms of “intrinsic” or “extrinsic” motivation. Or in terms of context-based attributes. But they never describe what constitutes motivation. They never give you a handle on motivation itself, just on the symptoms of motivation.

What to know what motivation really is?

It is DESIRE.

Why would I say that? Without the DESIRE to train, you won’t, plain and simple. All of those plans, those reps and sets, the diet, all of it won’t mean anything. The extrinsic and intrinsic motivating factors are meaningless without DESIRE to act upon them.

The best coach in the world with the best feel for how to train one particular athlete, manipulating exercises, training volume, or anything else to suit that unique person, fails if the person lacks the DESIRE to train.

And this is the quality that most people are lacking. They have no clear reason for training. At least, not one that is deep enough to last through the difficulties that behavior-change present, or that the sheer effort of training might occasionally present.

So what is it? What is DESIRE?

It is the fire in your gut. It is actually beyond “goals” or anything rational. How do I know this? Look at the most driven people in any realm of life. Their rationality is used to justify their DESIRE, and to funnel it into a form that makes sense to other people, but not to construct it.

DESIRE is the lust for a thing, an achievement, that won’t abate. For the successful athlete, DESIRE isn’t located in a single game, match, or event. It’s located in their entire being. It’s in their body, in their breakfast, in their car, in the air they breathe. It doesn’t go away.

When I was a child, my desire for physical attributes was primarily channeled through my idols. I really idolized Arnold Schwarzenegger and Bruce Lee. I idolized Kung Fu Action Theater every Saturday morning. I wanted to be able to do the things those guys could do, and to have their strength of character.

So what is the key to DESIRE? How do you cultivate it, and practice that cultivation?

I believe that DESIRE is related to visualization, to dreaming. Many non-civilized cultures practice “vision quests” – where a young man goes on a journey (internal, external, or both), and experiences a dream-like altered state in which he confronts his vision of himself. This vision becomes his persona, and guides him through life.

Allowing ourselves to experience, resonate with and enact our deepest dreams is often scary, and can be dangerous. In our culture there isn’t a sufficient form to support these experiences, so there is also a risk of becoming asocial – of our dreams creating a deeper rift between us and others, rather than helping do define ourselves and allow us to respect and appreciate others’ definitions of themselves. So be careful!

The above is why “idols” are the usual path by which we experience our own internal desires in US culture. We are given an external vision to see, we resonate with that, and pursue some aspect of it in our own unique way. It’s a good way to start.

If you remember who your childhood idols are or were, you can go back to those, and re-experience the energy from the DESIRE to be like those people. If not, you can choose new ones.

But the real source of DESIRE is within. And that’s the place where any external idol or other source of DESIRE (e.g., a romantic one) should eventually lead you – within. Finding the place inside yourself where that well of energy resides is the key to long-term achievement. How do you do that? Start by listening to your own body. And then take a look at all of the (external) things you’ve desired in the past. What are they pointing to? Some may point to qualities you feel you lack – “I wanted to be like so-and-so because they were so confident.” Some may point to qualities you feel you possess and want to express – “I always wanted to do xyz, and know I can do it, I just haven’t gotten around to it.”

One tip is to give up goals, or the idea that your goals are your DESIRE. Your DESIRE must be there before your goals. Or, once you’ve reached your goal, you won’t strive anymore. Forget about your goals and focus on your DREAMS.

Let your deepest DESIRE fuel you. It will be there when your rational mind is still trying to plan meals and workouts for the next 12 week program that you’ll never get around to actually doing.

Rational thought is post-facto. We use our rational minds to make up stories about things after they’ve happened. We use visualization to project and prepare for future-action. Making lists of things you want to do or qualities you think you have is just justification. Doing them is the key to success. So practice that.

The second is simply to DO/BE your DESIRE. If you aren’t that thing – be it now. If you don’t have six-pack abs or biceps made of fighter-jets, it’s not (primarily) because you haven’t done enough of Suzanne Somers ab-cisers, or Power Pullup Chinup progressions. It’s because you haven’t felt the overwhelming urge to be a person with six-pack abs and guns of steel.

A final exercise might be helpful, especially with regard to physical development. Create your Comic Book Hero of yourself. Start with a name. Alliteration is typical of comic book names, so maybe use that. For instance – “Peter Parker,” “Clark Kent,” etc.

Once you have a name, what is the Hero’s name? I mean, the name your hero (you) use when you’re in costume, saving the day.

What are the special powers, that no one else has? Where do they come from, how were they developed? And what is the “kryptonite” of your hero, its Achilles’ heel?

What does your hero do? How do they do it? How do they save the world and why? What is their personality like?

Where do they live? What is their “Fortress of Solitude” or “Bat-Cave?” Why do they live that way? What does their environment say about their character?

Don’t make this process completely fantastical. Pull from your own ideas and ideals about yourself and the world. Put yourself into this practice.

Once you’re done, draw a picture of your hero in action, in context. Put it on the fridge, or someplace you can see it often, and strive everyday to find that hero within yourself. Connect with it in your own body, in your own actions and in your life.

Engage with things that fuel your fire, your DESIRE, every day. Connect with your DESIRE, and follow it. Embody your desire. Express it into your environment.

Practice this every day. At first it will be hard, but it will get easier and easier…with very good results.

Fat Kids, Their Parents, Nature Deficit, and the Future

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So many articles on overweight/out-of-shape children popped up on my Google alerts yesterday that I have to post about it.  Not that I don’t want to, you know.

The kids in Sacramento are terribly unfit, and getting less fit by the year.  The Sacramento Bee article linked to above does a good job of showing how most “physical fitness” data ignores socioeconomic data.  It’s essential that we start putting these things together, to be able to see the bigger picture.

You see, poor kids are typically less fit than kids from more wealthy families.

One of the schools mentioned also had to reduce the presence of their “physical fitness specialist” from five days per week, to two days per week.  I’m sure that kind of thing is happening all over the country.  “PE” isn’t valued in our culture.

Great Britain is experiencing the same symptoms.  The article says, though, tat the biggest cause is a lack of regular physical activity by the children.  Sounds good.  Again, though, it’s only part of the argument.

This recent article in Scientific American points out how being in nature or in a natural setting not only reduces stress markers, but also creates value change in the people involved.

Out in the Wild, people naturally become more “other-focused,” and less “self-focused.”  Further, our motivational drive switches from an extrinsic drive, to a more intrinsic drive.

In all of these articles, though, where are the parents?

I mean, why aren’t fingers being pointed?  And pointed where they should be?

Socioeconomic status notwithstanding, parents play a huge role in getting their kids active, and into nature.

I suppose what I’m saying is this – we always look for the “cause” in the immediate present.  But those things are just symptoms.

What happened in the parents’ generation that has led them to care less about physical activity and nature?  Or at least, to be less involved in those things, or have their kids less involved?

What happened back then?  Treat the cause, not the symptom…

Change – Your thumb and a hammer

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My mother had a great analogy for me today.

She compared the process (or attempted process) of changing habitual actions in life to a scenario where you’re continually getting hit on the thumb with a hammer.

Sounds painful, right?  Well it is.

But how many times in life do we continue to do painful things, in spite of seemingly obvious (and painless) solutions?  More importantly, why do we continue down our habitual paths?

A lot of it has to do with our individual “structural” histories – our internal structures, our personalities (which are manifest in our flesh, by the way) – and what those structures allow or do not allow us to think, feel, or do.  This is speaking from a “systems” perspective.  The rules that apply to systems apply to this scenario.  Systems are resistant to change.  More on systems in a later post.

When your personal history (which is your “structure”) has no context showing you that it’s possible to move your thumb out of the way of the repetitively descending hammer, there it sits, getting smashed every time the hammer comes down.

It seems strange to me, but the truth is that something has to intervene at this point.  Something has to show you that it’s possible to move your thumb.

Not only that, but frequently, something (and it could be the same something, or a different something) often has also to show you how to move it!

What happens next is odd to me, as well.  Because at this point, you have to muster up the determination actually to try the new thing.  It doesn’t happen just because something showed you it was possible, and then something (else) showed you how to do it.  You have to make an effort and actually try it.

And that effort is not small.  Even for the tiniest action (like moving your thumb), and even in a situation where all you can do is gain from the action (you aren’t going to get the thumb chopped off if you move it out of the path of the hammer in this scenario, you’ll just risk not feeling pain), the effort to do something different, with unknown consequences, is ENORMOUS.

This fact of nature is the mother of the phrase – “Better the devil you know, than the devil you don’t.”

It’s easier to stick with bad, destructive habits, than it is to change.

But why would nature do this to us?

Motivation, and the causes of activity

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Michelle, over at the For the Life of Me blog, recently wrote a post about motivation as one of the key factors to success in incorporating healthy diet and exercise into our lives.

I agree with Michelle 100%, and I really like her take on the issue in her post.  Motivation is a key issue in having a healthy lifestyle.  But why is motivation so difficult?  What’s behind our motivations to do (or not do) certain things?

I think the source of the issue go straight to nature, or, what’s natural in general.  The law of inertia applies to everything that exists, and says that a body at rest will tend to stay at rest, and a body in motion will tend to stay in motion.  This is also “habit” – we tend to keep doing the things we’re used to doing, and not to do new or different things.

There’s also a law among living things demanding them to be as efficient as possible – to expend energy only when necessary.  For instance, one of the first things they’ll tell you in a survival school is to stay warm (conserve energy), and move around as little as necessary (conserve energy).  Building a log cabin is something a person does who already knows for a fact where they’re going to get their calories for the next year.

You can see this behavior in still-existing aboriginal/native cultures.  They don’t run around any more than necessary.  They spend a lot of time hanging out talking.  They do what is needed, and then rest.

So, what’s going on with us, in our culture?

First, we have a steady, stable, and reliable supply of calories (not always from the best sources).

Second, we don’t have any difficult physical demands in our lives, especially no demands that are necessary for our survival.  We have crafted environments that don’t demand any activity at all (going to the grocery store is a lot different from going out on a hunt, or even digging for your vegetables in a garden, or a natural setting).  Our “work” isn’t physical (building huts versus building websites, tending to crops or herds versus tending to your computer).

Third, we’ve created environments that trigger our stress response frequently.  Stressful work situations (with no physical outlet) lead to a constant release of adrenaline, and a buildup of cortisol, which leads to malfunction in the body.

Fourth, we’ve created an isolationist society – how many of your neighbors do you know and trust?  In an aboriginal culture, you know all of your neighbors (maybe up to 100), and you trust them all equally.

Fifth, and I think worst of all, we’ve created a culture of rules-based thinking, instead of creative-based thinking.  Everything we’re taught from an early age is designed to get us to follow rules.  Hence, when we get older, we do what everyone else is doing.  We think that it’s crazy to go off and follow our dreams – because there are no rules about that, and no one else is doing it (except the odd-ball cousin or friend-of-a-friend that you hear of on some occasion).