Action – The Master Cure

Posted on July 19, 2010 by Josh

In Taoist cosmology/philosophy, there are four states leading to “being”:
Zero – “The Tao” or Huntun (and/or see this entry by Scott Phillips)/Wuji – formlessness, undifferentiation (“none”)
One – Condensation (“one”)
Two – Taiji – differentiation (“two”)
Three – The “two” give birth to three…not sure what this one is “specifically”
Four – Reality/”naming” – 10,000 things

Here’s a quote from Chapter 42 of the Tao Te Ching:
The Tao gives birth to One.
One gives birth to Two.
Two gives birth to Three.
Three gives birth to all things.

In my recent experience, I’ve encountered the distinction between these.

Undifferentiation
There seems to be a realm we can inhabit, mentally, of undifferentiation. Though it may seem like apathy, it isn’t the same. It is a state of ease with the fact that all things are just as-they-are. Some people call this “alchemy.” This would be level zero in the above model.

Ideal/Utopian
Then there is an “ideal-state” mode of thought, where we reside in how we wish things were. There is only one idealized future. I would say this is level one above.

Polarity/Contrastive
The next level is polarity. The place where we make abrupt/acute distinctions between things – either/or. This is level two, Taiji.

Naming
Level three is the place where “naming” begins. Once you’ve identified a polarity, you begin to make discriminations. Yes, something can be black or white. But there are also shades of grey in between. This is the place where you recognize grey. Not all of the shades, that’s next. Level three is similar to level zero, in that it is a transitional state between Two and Four. It is the realm of the trichotomy – the either/or/and situation.

State-Chaser
Level four is somewhat easier to identify. I’d say it’s when we’re in the “state-chaser” frame of mind/being. We’re smelling the flowers, getting drunk, doing feats of physical endurance, swimming in really cold water, going to rock concerts, moving to an ashram in India – in order to experience all of the diversity that life has to offer (as opposed to doing those things with specific ends in mind).

What I realized in my personal life was that I’d been spending too much time in the Undifferentiated and Ideal zones, and had begun taking those as reality.

Or, I would vacillate between Relativism, Idealism, and Polarity.

It made it hard to figure out what to do next.

The solution has been to understand nature as, ultimately, undifferentiated, and accept that. Leave that where it is. Then, to understand my own desired “utopian state.” What is my “ideal” in xyz situations? Then, to leave that where it is. Finally, to come to “reality” and take actions that seem best for me right now, based on my past experience, and the ideal(s) I have in mind for a particular situation.

Action cures all ills.

The Gamut of Selves

Posted on June 14, 2010 by Josh

We don’t have to do anything in particular in order to play (be in the play-state), other than to release certain inhibitions we have about ourselves, others, and “rules.”

To do that, it may be beneficial to practice identifying the other states we assume throughout the day. For most of us, these other states will be characterized by certain “selves.”

For instance, I’ve already discussed The Victim. There are also the roles of “the persecutor,” “protector/rescuer,” “coach,” “challenger,” “cynic,” “skeptic.” And above those there may be others, like the “controller,” the “buddha/enlightened one,” etc.

For more information on this, check out the book (or videos) TED –

We each have our own unique cast of characters. And, though they’ll often assume similar roles, our cast is unlike any other cast. Each role may be played by a different person, depending on our own personal history.

As we go through the day, and experience emotions of different sorts, different characters come in to play.

In order to witness these folks, it is necessary to learn to notice shifts in our energy state – in our emotional or attentional state – as they occur.

When we feel “high,” who is in charge? When we feel “stressed,” who is in charge? When we are in love, who is in charge? When we are angry, who is it? If we feel like we’ve failed at something, who is the voice, the character, that comes up to the front of the stage of our mind?

This process requires awareness and attention, which requires slowing down.

It’s just like learning any new skill. Think about the first time you played a new game of some sort. You had to slow down to learn the technique. You may have “frozen” certain parts of your body or movements in order to work on the technique in pieces. In motor learning it’s called “freeing and freezing degrees of freedom.” You may have moved very clumsily at first, and felt awkward.*

That’s normal.

Now aware of this – that learning requires slowing down, and that awkward and clumsy is normal at first – we can begin to play with these selves when they arise.

Here’s a scenario:

I’ve failed at a big task. The “persecutor” self steps forth and begins his monologue about worthlessness, about me being crappy at this thing, about me not being good enough.

But something has changed. I’m aware that it’s the Persecutor talking. And I say to myself, perhaps, something like, “That’s interesting.”

He begins to get anxious. He looks around for help. He tries to find things to distract me…where did I leave my car keys? What time is it?…so he can continue his act.

But I stay aware, calm, slow, breathing, watching him.

Then I observe. Simply observe.

And then, only then, is choice possible.

*on a side note, this process, of freezing our degrees of freedom, happens when we are “psychologically” stressed as well.

Trauma, Somatic Awareness, Healing, and Athletic Performance

Posted on May 29, 2010 by Josh

Aight…if you’ve been reading recently, you may be wondering what all of my recent posts have to do with physical activity, health, or athletic performance.

It has come to my attention that most people seek personal trainers for motivation, support, or encouragement, over/above knowledge, instruction, or learning.

First, I think that this is a culturally-based bias. I think that because of the way we treat what we call “physical education” in this country.

Children (at least when I was a kid, in “one of the best school systems in the country” – Fairfax Co., VA) in PE classes are “taught” extremely little. The only instruction we received usually had to do with “rules” of various games we played.

There was one section of the class on “health,” which covered sex education, drug awareness (scare tactics), and something else I can’t remember.

But there was no real physical education happening. If I learned the names of any muscles in high school it was either in a biology class, or through my own readings. We didn’t learn anything about human physiology.

Worst still, we didn’t learn anything about our bodies from a somatic awareness perspective. For instance, what happens in our physical bodies when we experience a trauma (whether it’s an accidental bump or fall, a major accident, or the experience of abuse from some external source), how to trace that experience, how to allow our feelings to happen without judgment or restriction…

And then, how to help ourselves to heal, by playing between the feelings elicited by that trauma within ourselves and the natural healing responses our bodies create.

This is not “touchy feely” bullshit that I’m writing about. We can point, using “science,” to everything good about a somatic awareness practice.

For instance, it is well known that the body responds to distress with chemical flows that, if lasting, are incredibly destructive. Adrenaline and cortisol, while helpful in emergency situations, are killers if they are present for too long.

This type of ability, and the practice of it, go to the heart of everything we do. This ability is the foundation for the creation of lasting self-worth, self-respect, and ultimately self-responsibility – all of which are, in turn, the foundations for deep feelings of others’ worth, respect of others, and the holding responsible of others for their own selves.

As I’ve said before, emotions are physical states. They are characterized by particular postures/expressions (that is, muscular patterns), and by internal chemical profiles.

The body is always a two-way street. So, similarly (and again, as I’ve said before), if we hold certain postures/expressions, we reproduce internal chemical profiles associated with those postures, and “create” that emotional state in ourselves.

If you are in a “stressed” state, your body cannot perform optimally. The longer that state continues, the less-optimally you can perform.

If you experience a trauma that you do not resolve, your body sets into a self-sustaining cycle that, while it is attempting to resolve the trauma, reinforces the fact that you were unable to resolve it.

Play is one way out of this. Play is the ability to creatively approach situations. I don’t mean “play” as it is commonly construed (another problem with our society). I mean play as creativity, openness, vulnerability, expression.

As the cycle continues, it becomes a habit. Soon, your reaction to certain things (relationship problems, conflicts, physical challenges, etc.) “just happen,” and you “have no control” over them.

The only way to break the cycle is through an intervention. And the way we intervene in our own psycho-physiology is through awareness.

This awareness requires the ability to focus internally, on feelings as they are occurring, observing them as they happen, and sitting quietly with them. When we feel those patterns occur, of reactivity to stress, and can sit with them, we can feel their usefulness. We can feel their reality (are they still applicable to the now, or are they representative of a past event).

And then we can heal them.

I really appreciate Aaron Schwenzfeier’s recent post, quoting Carl Valle on athletes’ performance, posture, and motivation and confidence. Equally important is his earlier post on Emotional Movement Intelligence.

Oftentimes, athletes (or others) succeed in spite of the mental/physical/emotional blockages in their lives. But equally often, these successful people eventually – and when it happens, always tragically – succumb to these restrictions. It may come in the form of a torn ACL. Dog-fighting charges. Rape or murder. Suicide. Depression. Etc.

I have yet to see a single discipline that encapsulates all of the areas needed – physical, mental, emotional/spiritual – to address these issues. And perhaps such a discipline is impossible, due to the sheer amount of information needed to work in all of those areas…or useless, due to the incredible variety of individual experience in the world (i.e., “one size cannot fit all”).

But I encourage (and implore) you to explore your life in this way.

In addition to your “physical education” of working out, building muscle/strength/size/shape, or performing well, find a somatic practice that encourages deep awareness of your body and its movement, such as:
Feldenkrais Technique
Alexander Technique
Mattes Method
Hanna Somatics
Qi Gong/Chi Gong, Tai Chi, Yoga, and some other martial arts
Autogenic Training
Network Care

Here’s an example of what Network Care is about:

Similarly, seek out a method of psychological awareness that allows you to attune, listen, feel, release, and ultimately accept yourself, such as:
Meditation – Zen, TM, Buddhist, Taoist, Eckart Tolle’s works, etc.
Psychotherapy – Psychiatry, Psychology, Coaching, Therapy, etc.
Group Practices – Toastmasters, Religious groups, Wo/Men’s groups, etc.
Somatic Experiencing

Here’s an example of what Somatic Experiencing is about:

One size does not fit all, so you’ll have to do some searching to find what works for you. But please search. You can find videos about any of the things I’ve mentioned above on YouTube.

It’s worth it.

The journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Ask and it will be given to you; seek and you will find; knock and the door will be opened to you.

Massive Oil Spill

Posted on May 27, 2010 by Josh

The massive oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico continues to pump oil out into the sea.

My friends are dismayed, and want action to remedy this problem, and its cause(s).

When I see the pictures, my heart drops like a stone, and I’m unable to really think clearly, without sadness and pessimism clouding my mind.

Worse still, after my mind begins to wonder at this devastation, it moves on immediately to similar environmental disasters that human beings are committing all over the world right now.

Can we change this? How? What is the source of this?

I see one source in the dissociation of people from their “tools.” From everything they use, they are further and further removed. Things become “mere things.” We suddenly are no longer connected in a cycle of creation and destruction. We stand outside of it and look on…passersby, observers, voyeurs of our own self-destruction.

Don’t look at the images anymore. Look into your heart. Find it there. Where did that self come from? What sustains/sustained it? That is the path out of this mess.

To “go under,” as Nietzsche once said…

Self/Other – The Mother of Conflict

Posted on December 14, 2009 by Josh

Dr. Peter Gray’s recent article on Psychology Today, “The Morally Questionable Lessons of Formal Sports,” asks the very pertinent question – to what end, sports?

I’ve commented on my own experience with organized sports in previous posts, and will sum up by saying that I almost always have experienced what Dr. Gray outlines in his article – the creation of enemies through organized sporting activity.

Granted, none of those people are still my enemies, but the process of organized sport itself necessarily (in most cases) creates the Self/Other distinction more quickly than other group dynamics.

What happens next? Well, the group becomes Self and Other (or “my group and their group”. Then Self and Other becomes Self VS Other (or, “my group versus their group”).

Then the violence happens.

Once an individual perceives themselves as separated from their habitat – as physically separate – there are no consequences when things are done-to that habitat.

Habitat includes everything around us. Furniture, walls, plants, animals, air, weather, sounds, etc. Everything that is our “external organ.”

It is interesting that that process is so simple to accomplish.

In the study that Dr. Gray cites, it was accomplished by giving children rewards for winning whatever game against the other team. Win, you get an award. Lose, you do not.

Suddenly, I am not just separate from the large context, but not rewarded for my efforts (though they may have been as great, relatively, as those of the other players).

What dissolves this dialectic? Again, in the study Dr. Grey cites, conflict between groups was resolved by involving the group in a common goal.

We’ve seen this in history. Unite opposing factions, or views, against a “common enemy.”

Suddenly we’re all on the same team (at least for a while).

But what hasn’t happened is the dissolution of the Self/Other dialectic. It still remains, ruling over all, until the teams are split up again, and one is pitted against the other.

You – Own it.

Posted on October 3, 2009 by Josh

The character “Taylor” (played by John P. Whitecloud – who was awesome!) in the movie Poltergeist 2 tells “Steve” (Craig T. Nelson), when Steve is losing his mind because his family has been overrun by evil spirits…AGAIN…that he must take responsibility…

Taylor – You understand me, no matter how much you want to feel sorry for yourself. That is the path you have chosen to take, whether you know it or not. YOU should assume full responsibility.
Steve – RESPONSIBILITY FOR WHAT!
Taylor – Responsibility for EVERYTHING. Everything in your world.

"God is in, His holy tem-PUL!"

I think he’s right.

Community is great. I think it’s wonderful to have a group of like-minded individuals around, to support you when needed.

But not at the expense of your self, your individuality, your soul.

The biggest part of being an individual is taking responsibility for yourself as an individual.

And this is something our culture does not (and many communities do not) teach.

Beyond that, is the extent to which you must take responsibility for yourself. And in this, too, Taylor is right – you must take responsibility for everything in your world.

There is no “your world” without “you the individual.” Your perception of your world = you.

I don’t mean this in a hard way. It shouldn’t be hard. It should be very easy. In fact, it should be easier still because your community supports you in this process.

If you live in a community like that.

I think our culture likes to tell people what to do a lot. “Prescriptions,” instead of education. Which is strange, since we live in a predominantly Christian society (at least, predominantly led by people who call themselves “Christian” – and I am not, just in case you were wondering). What I mean is, Jesus said something about teaching people to fish instead of giving them fish. In our culture, we like to tell people to catch their own fish, and tell them that they have to make their own fishing rods, and lines, and hooks. But we don’t show them how to do those things. We just tell them that they need to.

I encounter this effort to escape responsibility all the time – in myself and in others – and it’s extremely frustrating.

One of the funniest places to see it, for me, is in culture itself. We currently have a ton of excuses for why people aren’t self-responsible…number one among them is…

“ENTITLEMENT”

they need the extra space on the sides of the car...they're fat

…which, simply put, means, “feeling that one does not need to be self-responsible.”

Uh? What? So, when we have a problem, we approach it by making another name for it? That…doesn’t sound like it will have any effect.

Yeah, people complain all the time about their kids, their peers, their grandkids, their neighbors, having a bizarre sense of entitlement…

…and there it ends.

Instead of saying “you are not entitled to this,” they argue about it. They have debates. They talk about it on talk shows. Anything rather than facing their beliefs about the issue and doing something about it.

Beyond that, whose responsibility are your feelings/opinions? They’re yours. What are your estimations of other people as acting with false entitlement giving you?

Is it helping you to avoid pointing the finger back where it belongs?

When you tell someone else that they’re wrong, bad, not good, dumb, conceited, egotistical, silly, lazy, or anything else, do you take responsibility for the fact that it is you who thinks this about the other person? It is not they who think it. You don’t know what they think. You can’t. Even when they tell you what they think, you only have a vague notion of what those words mean to them as an individual.

And when you do own it, do you then hold that feeling inside from then on? Push it down? Debate about it with yourself?

Or do you play with those beliefs? Do you experiment, play, with the other person, to see whether your ideas match reality or not?

There’s a big difference between judgment and play.

One, judgment, says that you know “how it is.” You’re already certain, based on your (I’m sure vast) experience, what a person is thinking, who they are; or, what a situation is, and what the “right” response is.

The other, play, says that you might have an idea of what’s happening, but that you want to explore the possibilities – in a way that involves empathy, compassion, humor, lightheartedness…

Another place people often try to avoid responsibility for themselves and their world is in religion and politics. OH NO! THE TWO “TABOO” SUBJECTS WE SHOULD NEVER SPEAK ABOUT!

"I went down to the crossroads..."

Why is it that we should never speak about them?

Well, what happens when you speak about something?

No…not that you argue. I mean, the arguing leads to something else.

It means that you will be forced to confront your views of the world. By saying them out loud, in the presence of another person, you will be forced to look at what you believe. You will be forced to confront…

Yourself

Still other places I’ve noticed people hiding from themselves in are – jobs/careers, illnesses (ADD, ADHD? – it’s not my fault I can’t control myself, I have an illness), relationships…etc.

Can’t we all just play along?

What does all of this have to do with training?

I can provide a good answer from the response I just posted on Aaron Schwenzfeier’s Blog:

For me, the future of “training” is educating people about how their bodies work. Then they can become, as they should be, the boss of themselves…self-responsible.

How does a human body work, in general? What are the mechanisms at work? Chek doesn’t teach his people that…probably because he’s afraid that, if he did, they wouldn’t need him anymore.

That’s really sad, though. True coaching isn’t about telling people what to do all the time. It’s about being an artist. It’s about accumulating the time in the field, researching your field, seeing what works and what doesn’t, so that you can effectively help the individuals you work with in a faster and faster manner…

Coaching is an art.

More education. Less admonishment, less prescription, less arguing about “what’s right for everyone” (it doesn’t exist…every one individual is different), less “guru-ism.”

My goal here, has not been to prescribe an action to you, or to condemn anyone for behaving in any way. I hope you don’t take it that way. I’m just trying to describe the new state of behavior I’m trying to foster in myself.

If you want to do that too, let’s play.

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You are not a machine

Posted on July 22, 2009 by Josh

Here is another sequence of quotes from James Carse’s book, “Finite and Infinite Games.”

“We make use of machines to increase our power, and therefore our control, over natural phenomena”

“As the machine might be considered the extended arms and legs of the worker, the worker might be considered an extension of the machine.”

Who is in control?

“All machines, and especially very complicated machines, require operators to place themselves in a provided location and to perform functions mechanically adapted to the functions of the machine.”

You can't do this without me here.

“To use the machine for control is to be controlled by the machine.”

You may only move like this.

“To operate a machine, one must operate like a machine. Using a machine to do what we cannot do, we find we must do what the machine does.”

You did not obey the machine.

“Machines do not, of course, make us into machines when we operate them; we make ourselves into machinery in order to operate them. Machinery does not steal our spontaneity from us; we set it aside ourselves, we deny our originality.”

Screw those machines! Let's have fun!

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Finite and Infinite Games – Review

Posted on July 22, 2009 by Josh

Just finished reading James Carse’s book “Finite and Infinite Games.”

Finite and Infinite Games

I can’t recommend it highly enough. It’s incredibly dense for such a short paperback book (177 pages). It might take a while to get through, but it’s worth the consideration and effort!

The book isn’t strictly about “games” in the sense that we usually consider them, but applies the concept of play to human life in general – one of the things I like most about it!

Regarding fitness and health, here’s a nice quote for you:

Physicians who cure must abstract persons into functions. They treat the illness, not the person. And persons willfully present themselves as functions. Indeed, what sustains the enormous size and cost of the curing professions is the widespread desire to see oneself as a function, or a collection of functions. To be ill is to be dysfunctional; to be dysfunctional is to be unable to compete in one’s preferred contests. It is a kind of death, an inability to acquire titles. The ill become invisible. Illness always has the smell of death about it: Either it may lead to death, or it leads to the death of a person as competitor. The dread of illness is the dread of losing.
One is never ill in general. One is always ill with relation to some bounded activity. It is not cancer that makes me ill. It is because I cannot work, or run, or swallow that I am ill with cancer. The loss of function, the obstruction of an activity, cannot in itself destroy my health. I am too heavy to fly by flapping my arms, but I do not for that reason complain of being sick with weight. However if I desired to be a fashion model, a dancer, or a jockey, I would consider excessive weight to be a kind of disease and would be likely to consult a doctor, a nutritionist, or another specialist to be cured of it.
When I am healed I am restored to my center in a way that my freedom as a person is not compromised by my loss of functions. This means that the illness need not be eliminated before I can be healed. I am not free to the degree that I can overcome my infirmities, but only to the degree that I can put my infirmities into play. I am cured of my illness; I am healed with my illness.

(pp. 91-92)

The crux of this book is critical for those of us who want to change the way fitness is approached – by ourselves or by the “industry.” “Functional” fitness, all the rage nowadays, is part of a larger outlook on life that confines individuals to boundaries, and attempts to confine Nature similarly.

In order to create change, we have to change the way we speak about things. We need perspective. This book will help. Get it!

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A New Way to Play…

Posted on July 22, 2009 by Josh

I went to the field where I lead a play-based fitness group the other day, and saw this at the baseball diamond:

HOME! NO! BACK! NO! WAIT! RUN!

If you can see it, someone got creative with the chalk lines the day before, and basically scribbled all over the field!

Immediately I imagined two teams coming to the field that day, ready for battle, finding the rules slightly changed…

Then I thought of how much fun it would be to play on a field like this, especially after weeks or years of the same old straight lines connecting first, second, third, and home.

My friend Charlie Reid was at this park with me a few days prior to the development of the new baseball rules, and we watched a little league team playing.

“How boring,” I said. All of the kids stood in the outfield and waited in line for their coach to pop fly balls out to them. I presume it was for practice, but it could’ve been some kind of weeding process as well.

“Yeah,” Charlie said. “It would be so much better if you rotated positions every play, like you do in volleyball in high school. If no one had a set position, everyone would have to adapt to the demands of new positions. No one would get stuck in the outfield, or on the bench.”

“Wow! That’s a great idea!” I said.

We watched the kids in the outfield, standing in line, waiting for fly-balls…

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Razor blades in the grass…

Posted on July 16, 2009 by Josh

I’m a big fan of barefooting whenever possible. However, in the city, I almost always wear either my Vibram’s, my Vivo Barefoots, or my Brooks Cross Country Flats.

A recent news piece by the San Diego News Network explains why – some asshole(s) buried razor blades in the ground in a children’s park. Not only that, but it’s happened before.

I’m always very cautious in the parks around SF, and try to be very cautious when I’m in the streets as well. As the old saying goes – an ounce of prevention is worth a pound of cure.

That goes for things like – using good form when lifting weights; making overt agreements with play partners when you’re playing games; going slowly at first, then speeding things up; warming up; and now – playing in the park!

Scout your area first, look around for broken glass or other hazards. Wear shoes. If you’ve looked around, and feel safe, you can go barefoot, but I guess you do so at your own risk.

Oh yeah, and if you see or hear of some idiot planting razor blades in a public space – call the police and report them.